She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
not ubering you a puppy
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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