God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
