Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
