Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
