If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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