did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
so much tequila, so little girl.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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