she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
