he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
