so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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