Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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