Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
