How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
