I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
