maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
