My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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