What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
