sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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