i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
