He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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