Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
