mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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