You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
