I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
