you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
