Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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