I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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