I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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