i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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