i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
