doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So much Jack, so little girl.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
