Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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