If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
