you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
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He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
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Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
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turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.