I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
