Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".