Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space http://tfl.nu/29mq
  Replies (27) Good night (4792) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat. http://tfl.nu/rv4w
  Replies (18) Good night (4646) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college. http://tfl.nu/379h
  Replies (44) Good night (4260) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day (1-402): If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it http://tfl.nu/wdhm
  Replies (12) Good night (5054) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days http://tfl.nu/ngst
  Replies (21) Good night (10128) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (+25): View more from

  We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+25): We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them? http://tfl.nu/7ecx
  Replies (9) Good night (959) Bad night (2600)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything. http://tfl.nu/jcb8
  Replies (4) Good night (2119) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there. http://tfl.nu/9sg3
  Replies (6) Good night (470) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (865): I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck. http://tfl.nu/zkmt
  Replies (5) Good night (1387) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it. http://tfl.nu/u2s4
  Replies (3) Good night (1350) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great http://tfl.nu/slai
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me" http://tfl.nu/gvp7
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK http://tfl.nu/qy4p
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked. http://tfl.nu/tzyh
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not? http://tfl.nu/q61f
  Replies (1) Good night (167) Bad night (235)

Randomize