margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
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From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
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I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.