Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
