I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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