I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
