OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Found the puke drawer
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
