I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
