After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
