He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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