just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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