Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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