The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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