Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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