So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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