ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
