we're blogging at a bar
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
