Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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