After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
