I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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