did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
