im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I lost the right to judge tonight
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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