I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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