Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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