we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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