well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
