my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
