I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
