she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
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in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
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I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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