you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
