I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Less talking, more tequila
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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