I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
