I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
