would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
