If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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