do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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