I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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