Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize